Narrative Text

Once Upon a Regret

“Because Chance Never Come Twice”

Here I am with a cup of coffee in front of me in a small café which was our favorite place. Remembering you, remembering those crazy things which we had done, remember us. I remember the first time we came here 2 years ago. Your excited eyes when you entered those oak door, I like it. So glad you took a little jump, clap your hand and said “Woow… I really like this café. Look at that picture. I can feel the atmosphere of 1980’s.” You observed every single thing. I just smiled and thought that you’re really cute. I could understand what you felt there. Retro shade plus a very wonderful music of 1980’s or 1990’s made us feel back in those days. A waiter came and gave some explanation about this wonderful café. “This place was made in 2001, we have some mainstay menu which will make you absolutely satisfied, mini music library, and live music with different theme and format every day. Wait, we also have a special guest book which you can write on it up to you.” You ordered a super jumbo hamburger and lemon tea without ice. Spontaneous I laughed. You frowned and wanted to change your order. Then I said,”no it’s alright. I’ll order the same one.”

But someone interrupted my thought. A beautiful waitress comes to serve my order. It’s the same menu which we ordered 2 years ago, a super jumbo hamburger and lemon tea without ice. Now I am remembering the first time we met. Yeah, I remember it like it happened yesterday. You are the one who saved me from doing the most stupid thing that I’ve ever thought. It was Saturday night at the balcony of Orchid hotel. I had worked there as a receptionist. At that time, I faced buried time of my life. I was very depressed. I lost all of my money to pay my brother’s debt, furthermore my girlfriend left without say anything. I said,“I’m sick of this damn life.” I was going to end my life if I didn’t hear someone shouted. She said,”Hey… What are you going to do? Don’t be stupid. There are still many people who suffer more than you. Don’t you know if suicide is a very big sin? If I were on your shoes, I won’t do that. Just tell me, maybe I can help you.” After that incident, our relationship was getting closer. She was a very kind girl. I was the luckiest person in this earth to have her as my “only one”. But I didn’t brave enough to tell it to you.

I interrupted (again) by girls gang chattering behind me, but it made me remember something. I didn’t know how many times we do this, talked for hours and enjoyed a piece of strawberry cakes, cup of cappuccino for me and Americano one for you. I couldn’t figure out why do you like it, because Americano is very bitter and I don’t like it. So that’s why I thought you’re very unique. But if someday you asked me to drink it, I will bravely drink it (yeah, I’ll do it because I love you or if I don’t, it will hurt my pride as a man). All night talked about our funny experience is one of the best memory for me. We laughed over loud till the waiter, waitress, and people around looked strangely at us. But we didn’t care. We enjoyed that moment.

I was quiet and listen to your story mostly. Not because I didn’t have a story to told you. But I really liked the way you retell your story.  Those sparkling eyes and the way you play your hand to give me the vision about your story, I admire them. Sometimes we just paused only for enjoy our coffee and strawberry cake whilst listen to the old song. Suddenly you said, “Aha… I know this song. Stevie Wonder-I just called to say I love you.” Then you sang and shook your head to the left and right. You know? I thought this song really can show what I wanted to tell you.

“I just called to say I love you 
I just called to say how much I care, I do 
I just called to say I love you 
And I mean it from the bottom of my heart”

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But it’s too late. You have chosen someone who will hear your nerd jokes, will wise when you’re in a worst mood, and embrace you when you’re weary. I’m happy enough to know that you happy. That is what you said to me. What now? Why do you leave me alone? How could you didn’t say to me from the first time that you ill? I can’t believe you anymore.

Suddenly, a man open the café door and approach me. He is your boyfriend. “Hi, are you Rama? I’m Kiki’s cousin. I want to give you the last thing she wanted you to know.” he said. I replied “What??? Cousin? You are her boyfriend right?” He said “she is a very kind girl. She doesn’t want you to be more sad when she’s in the worst condition. She doesn’t want you worry about her. Just read it.” He gives me a pink envelope. It was Kiki’s favorite color. I still can smell her perfume on it. With a single tear, I open it.

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Hi Rama, I love you from the first time we met. Yeah, I know… maybe you’ll laugh but I hope you don’t mad at me because of it. I know you only see me as your friend or maybe sister. But when I saw letters to Juliet film, I decided to make this letter to you. I will not give it to you when I still “breath” because I don’t want to hear your rejection. It will really deep hurt. I hoped that you’ll shoot me first. But I think it’s impossible. I hope my life will be longer, but I cannot be selfish. I know that my disease (leukemia) is not a ordinary illness. If you’re willing, you can open the guest book in “our” café. I wrote on it every time we hang out there. So it’ll be very much to read. Haha… :P.

(When we are speaking about love, it's never too late-letters to Juliet)

With abundant of love, Kiki

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Then I asked the waiter to bring me the guest book.

Saturday, 7^th May 2011. I’m waiting for him now. Yesterday, I found a very good quotes that really suit me when I do searching. “Waiting for you is like waiting for rain to end the drought, disappointing and useless- a Cinderella's story.” Maybe it’s right but I will always waiting for him and I won’t regret it.

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I can hear the song sung by live band here “Roxette - It must have been love”

“It must have been love but it's over now. 
It must have been good but I lost it somehow. 
It must have been love but it's over now. 
From the moment we touched 'til the time had run out.”

I just cry regretting what I’ve done. Why did I cannot express my real feeling? But I know that she will not happy to see me like this. I promise just tonight. I cry only this night. Tomorrow, I’ll be the same Rama as usual. Rama which only love girl named Kiki.

THE END